Entry #12: Solitary moment

I’ve been sitting outside the coffee shop for 3 hours now and I’m still pissed at the people inside cause its so hot out here but I have no choice for there aren’t enough generous gentlemen nowadays who would give up their seat inside the airconditioned coffee-bean-smell-four-walled place. I’m looking at my two slices of cheesy quesadilla left over beside my empty frapp listening to Time Machine and absorbing every word of the song lyric wishing that I really do have a time machine and I could hold you close right now.

This is why I don’t agree to solitary moments, it makes me remember the things I should’ve buried and forgotten a long time ago. I know that you’re so sick of me missing you and me wishing you’d come back but there are people who can’t just forget and move on like you do.

Drinking the same frapp with the same brand at the same time like we used to do is breaking me into pieces again, like everything happened just yesterday.

I look around me and see couples browse their gadgets, talk, and laugh and I see how we used to be like that too. A guy just walked past me, wearing the faded black shorts you used to have and the black Nike slippers you first used when you arrived in the states, and My heart just went crazy like its going to burst outside and break my ribs. And there’s this guy who sat next to my table too and he smells like you, that old perfume you have that your dad bought you.

Will I ever be over you? Until now, I still have that one question unanswered… Why.. How.. did you forget and unlove me?

Alright, my best friend’s on her way here after hours of waiting and I should gather myself again. It’s not nice to have to talk about my heartbreak again. Move on self. Cause no matter what I do, wherever I go, no matter how many birthday wishes I use. . .you’re not coming back, and you’re not gonna see me the way you used to.

No time machine is enough that could put the pieces back.


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