“There are moments in every girl’s life that are bigger than we know at the time. When you look back, you say, that was one of those life-changing,
fork-in-the-road moments and I didn’t even see it coming. I had no idea.”
― Jenny Han, We’ll Always Have Summer
It’s been 7 years, and a lot of things have changed. Like a lot, A LOT. The quote above was from Jenny Han’s Summer Series, I remember that it was the first ever book that made me read again and buy again (even buy used books for the first time) and I remember it was Anne that introduced us to it. That’s how our friendship really bloomed, so it is really something meaningful to me.
Last summer, our friend Janiña came home from NZ and we (actually she did) already pre-planned our stay at Movenpick Beach Hotel in Mactan, Cebu. We didn’t have a particular goal to do there, just to chill and bond. We ended up going to Ibiza Beach Club during their happy hour and it was a happy few hours indeed. Nobody drank alcohol because one is allergic, the other is not allowed because she’s under medication and the other two are lazy and uninterested.
Janiña booked us an aribnb at Movenpick then we went to Mactan Alfresco for dinner so we could have a night stroll at Mactan Newtown but we didn’t stay long because we were excited to enjoy our sleepover PJ party (like we used to before), Anne made sure to bring us sheet masks! #SkincareisLife
In the morning we cooked our breakfast and this gloomy sky greeted us, it was a really nice morning to wake up to even if the sun wasn’t so bright. We even have some small challenges, like how we forgot to buy cooking oil (so how’s that for adulting? haha)
It was a very relaxing staycation and very tita of us to plan to stay late to talk and catch up but it was challenging because we were already getting sleepy while it was still 9pm haha. But that bonding made me realized a lot of things.
I don’t know why it’s so easy to say I miss you to some friends, but easier to just do it later, to just do about what we do everyday now that they’re not around until we forget to tell them that they did cross our mind.
Growing up, I thought that to stay friends with somebody you just have to constantly talk to each other and see each other but then we see these adults who live their own lives and get busy with their jobs and families that makes me wonder how they kept their friendship. I kinda learned the hard way that friendship doesn’t mean talking and seeing each other 24/7, knowing what they had for breakfast or what their plans are when they get home because how the hell do you keep up with a person when they’re miles away? or when they’re just in the same city but they have so much in their plate? or when the first thing on their mind when they get home after work is sleep? How the heck do you keep up with someone when you barely had the energy to text them every single day about every single detail on what happened to you today? How the heck would you keep up with someone who gets up in the morning at the same time you’re about to sleep (timezone problems)? How do you stay in a relationship where you don’t get to see the person for what, 2 to 3 years?
Then there are those kind of friendships where you live so near with each other but you lost in touch, and you weren’t able to grasp it back. How do you explain a slow death of friendship when you’re close to each other but you don’t even know what they’re up to now? When you didn’t even know they got a job outside the city? Or if they’re already dating someone?
I haven’t seen or spent time with four of my bestest friends for so long, you would think the awkwardness when we see each other is as thick as Harry Potter books but no. Seeing the two of them after a very long time was crazily normal (is that even a thing?) It was like we just pick up where we left off. Catching up sooooo much of the in-betweens, the things we don’t get to talk about when we facetime or when we randomly text each other.
I think it’s not how often you talk to each other or how much details you tell them, I think it’s about not giving up on friendship, on always having their back, on being with them when they cry even when you don’t fully understand why they’re hurting as long as you’re there willing to take it and share it all so the weight would be slightly lighter. I believe it takes believing that in the long run, when the sun sets beautifully and the heart is either aching or celebrating you are openly willing to support them.