Entry #27:February 12, 2016

I miss my friends. I miss med school and all those sleepless nights. I miss my old life. I know I’m always complaining how crappy it was that my body was already pumping not just blood but coffee in my veins but honestly, those were my glory days…seriously! I love how everything fits to my personality, like the fixed schedules of exams and activities. I am the kind of person who love routines. Yeah I take risks but having a routine is one of my strengths.

I miss how my girl friends and I just shares one look at each other and then poof! We’re all thinking the same thing, buying the same stuff, going to the same places and just enjoying eachother’s company, with some sleepovers from now and then.

I think it’s normal for me to feel this way, it’s only been a year since I left my old school and me and my friends got separated. I just wanna write about how I’ve really been feeling about them and my future career.

CHANGE is always just around the corner.

Entry #24: January 29, 2016

You posted a photo of the two of you today. I’m gonna say it again, I’m not over you.

It hurts to see you with someone else, I told myself that I’m too weak, so so weak. I wished I could be like you but then I realized why would I want to be like you? I’ve always believed that you’re the stronger one between the two of us but then don’t you think it’s actually me? All you did was break my heart and found someone else, and then break that someone’s heart and find a new one, and here I am after three years still single. Not because nobody has been interested in me, not just because I’m not over you yet but because I could be by myself and even if I am not in the happiest state of my life, I could stand on my own and not need someone else to make me feel whole.

I know I could be with someone right now even if I’m not over you yet, it’s easy to get lost when you have someone special right beside you but I think it’s important for me to find out who I am outside a relationship, it’s important to figure out my life on my own. I have lost myself for almost four years, did okay before,  in the years without you. I’ll be alright. I know I will be.